


just promise me

by a_venoir



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, and idk lots of kissing, shingeki no kyojin!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 20:49:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18018200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_venoir/pseuds/a_venoir
Summary: It's that taste of fear that has Jongin pushing into Sehun again and again, hoping to drown his anxieties in the warmth of a wet tongue.





	just promise me

**Author's Note:**

> _forget the horror here_ [✘](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYoINidnLRQ)

Back home there was the smell of dampness and dirt that clung to the air, but here the scent that clings is the coppery taste of blood. 

Since the titans have breached the first wall too many soldiers have been lost and even more have been broken. It's not unusual to find the arm of a friend rotting in the street, or smashed maneuver gear near the remnants of the wall. 

But then again it's that taste of fear that has Jongin pushing into Sehun again and again, hoping to drown his anxieties in the warmth of a wet tongue.

 

 

Jongin had noticed the younger recruit the first day of training. It was hard not to notice the languid way Sehun dragged himself through the drills or the vacant look in his eyes. Sometimes he found his gaze drifting to the pale blonde as they glided their way through the maneuver training, and he found himself on the end of some stern lectures about the importance of paying attention because of it.

Although Sehun is quiet with his words, his movements are surprisingly powerful, and it's a contrast that Jongin can relate to. It's that affinity, Jongin tells himself, and not the soft pink of Sehun's lips, that catches his interest. It isn't thoughts of those slim hips fitting beneath his fingers, bones grating against skin. It isn't the way he finds his eyes lingering on the harsh dip of Sehun's collarbones.

But whether it's the snatches that Jongin sees of himself or the tangible pull he feels with every glance, they find themselves gravitating together. It's Sehun that he finds at his side in the cafeteria at dinner (and again at breakfast, then lunch), and it's Sehun who finds him after the hand to hand combat drills and asks him to spar with him. Their conversation is easy, and even the silences they lapse into are comfortable. 

And soon they are close enough that closing the gap between friends and lovers seems natural. Sometimes they steal kisses between drills or tangle their fingers together behind their backs as they wait in line. Before a mission their kisses are pleas of reassurance, and afterwards they're full of relief from surviving.

Nothing about their relationship is planned, but it's hard to plan for the future when you're not sure if you'll live to see it.

 

 

On the morning before a mission, the atmosphere is always different. Instead of death, the air around the barracks is thick with anxiety. Churning nervousness forces the remains of Jongin's breakfast from his stomach, and he brushes his teeth ~~three~~ ~~four~~ five times, trying to scrub away any evidence of weakness. Soldiers who are weak die early, and Jongin wants to live a little longer. 

(But even that thought doesn't keep his fingers from shaking as they grip the sink basin. Nor does it still the tremor in his knees.)

It's on those mornings that Sehun backs him into the corner of the storeroom, and kisses him amongst the gas canisters.

He kisses until the traces of fear leave Jongin's eyes, until the tension leaves Jongin's mouth and his lips are lax. It's the kind of kiss that replaces the tremors in his gut with shudders of anticipation. It's a kiss that curls deep into his chest, wrapping tightly around his lungs.

And even though they don't have enough time (they never have enough time), Sehun kisses him slowly. He lazily licks into Jongin until the tempo of Jongin's pulse slows to the easy slide of Sehun's tongue. His hands find Jongin's hips and the small circles of thumb both calm and excite him. 

With Sehun he can forget the horrors awaiting him. Sehun's kisses unknot the worries in his bones and then retie them into bows that remind him who he is. Sehun's the only one that can make him feel so solidly in his own skin. He's the only one who can ground him like this.

Nestled against each other, Jongin finally feels safe. He tongues at Sehun's clavicles, then presses smalls kisses to his neck, his heart, until he has covered every vital point. 

Each one of Sehun's weaknesses is marked with the only protection Jongin can give him.

When they're close like this he likes the heat of their bodies. He likes lightly pushing his fingers into Sehun's wrist until he can feel the throbbing of Sehun's pulse. He likes feeling the life gasping beneath the surface.

But sunlight is starting to sneak through the window and the gloom of the storeroom is slowly lightening.

"I have to go," Jongin says reluctantly.

Soon everyone will be gathering their equipment, and the storeroom won't be so quiet anymore. Jongin still needs to check his gear, and he should probably try again to eat something. There's still an hour before they have to be ready to leave, but Jongin knows the hour will pass by quickly, and he can already feel dread seeping into his skin. 

Because when Sehun first became an outlet for his fears he hadn't counted on Sehun becoming the thing he fears losing the most.

Maybe Sehun can feel the panic, because he pulls Jongin closer, and Jongin instinctively curls his fingers into Sehun's shirt. He holds on tightly, and the feel of the fabric between his fingers lulls him into believing that he won't find Sehun's name amongst the lists of casualties. 

"Come back to me?" Sehun whispers against the shell of his ear. His words -like his breath- are warm and they give Jongin the courage he needs.

"Always." He answers, loosening his grip on Sehun's shirt. He tries to smile reassuringly, but he knows that it doesn't reach his eyes.

They both already know it's a promise Jongin can't keep, but that won't stop Jongin from saying the words each time, and it won't stop Sehun from asking for them.

 

 

Because they both want to believe that love will keep them safe.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be angsty pwp but then it became angsty plot without porn HAH


End file.
